a significant bullet

Writings on Film, Culture, Politics, and Nonsense

I managed to make it a full week at work. Which is surprising because, about four weeks ago, I was in the hospital with severe pneumonia and in the ICU. Five days in a grubby hospital gown hooked up to countless tubes, getting poked in the arm at 2 a.m.

I got used to the hospital staff rotating, never seeing a familiar face, but always a rotating tribe of orderlies, doctors, and nurses. Beeps and alarms interrupted the static sound from the speaker that was supposed to be playing the television show.

A cacophony in prime-time.

My lungs were fire, each inhale striating a line of pain throughout my body starting in my chest. Not to mention the hospital bed began to cramp my back and I had to shuffle shuffle awkwardly to relieve the pressure. My ass still hurts from it.

And the pressure cuffs hooked around my calves pumping and deflating every 45 seconds.

Time became moments of pain and pressure interrupted by the most exciting moments of medication—a Percocet, my regular psych meds, antibiotics—and ordering disgusting hospital food.


So I signed up for Last.fm Premium for a year. I was hesitant as there isn’t a reliable way to scrobble my tracks with Apple Music.

I was using an app called Eavescrob, but it only scrobbled music in my library. And I listen to a lot of music that’s not in my library but I want added to my Last.fm profile.

I found an old Reddit thread and someone mentioned QuietScrob. The big thing about QuietScrob is that it scrobbles non-library tracks. So I decided to try it. So far, it works well. It didn’t scrobble an obscure Hot Mulligan track and that concerns me.

But I think I’ll give it a try for now.

If anyone has a better way of scrobbling  Music to Last.fm, please let me know. My Mastodon handle is below, but here it is anyway: @caycepollard@appdot.net

(Also, trying the iOS WriteFreely app so apologies if there are issues in publishing this post)

#applemusic #ios #lastfm

My Social Places: @caycepollard1 @caycepollard@appdot.net RSS

When I taught my English classes at the university, I taught my students critical thinking. I beat into them to question their sources and make sure the information they were presenting was factual and true. This was at the cusp of Wikipedia and the explosion of the internet. Smartphones weren’t a thing when I was teaching.

One of my favorite exercises was to gather my students into groups and have them read an official document about the dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide

Warning against Dihydrogen Monoxide

I would ask them to construct an argument why we should ban DHMO or why we should not ban it. The group members had to be unanimous in their decision.

I would always have the cocky science major raise an eyebrow at me, as if to say, are you serious? But most of the time the groups would vote to ban DHMO. They’d present perfectly logical arguments why; their presentation based on the information I gave them.

And every student would groan and be upset with me when I told them they effectively banned the usage of water. Many students would complain that I tricked them and made them feel stupid.


I read this recent article in The New Yorker titled “Trump Remains the President of Red America.”

The author, Susan B. Glasser, writes mid-way through the article:

“And, even without final results, we can already say that there are still two Americas, and that Trump, despite the catastrophes of his rule, has retained the loyalty of the vast majority of red America — his America.”

This is what I and many of my peers have been despondently saying. Trump may go away. Trump lost the election. Trump may even get charged for his crimes in New York, getting prison time and giving the nation an enormous slice of schadenfreude.

But his supporters are still our neighbors, the people at the store, the people at church.


Author’s Note: I wrote this piece three years ago during a dark period in my life. Propublica picked it up when I published it on my Wordpress blog, using my experience as evidence of neglect in the court case brought against the hospital. I am publishing it here since I am shutting down my Wordpress blog and want to keep my experience alive.

ACLU of Illinois Demands Removal of Children in DCFS Care From Troubled Chicago Hospital

More allegations of sexual abuse at Aurora Chicago Lakeshore Hospital, already under government scrutiny, have surfaced.

America is great if you're rich. Just look at Kanye West. Or the countless other celebrities that come out having a mental illness and become icons of bravery. You can have a mental illness and go to lush, private facilities dedicated to wellbeing and health.

Those of us with poor health insurance, who have to rely on underpaid, undertrained, uncaring health professionals are having the exact same treatment as our 19th-century peers.

Mental Health treatment in the West has improved somewhat from the 19th and early 20th centuries. Gone are Lobotomies and Water Sheeting.

Yet, the mentally ill are continual scapegoats for larger societal problems. Every time there is a mass shooting, mental illness is to blame.

This is my experience trapped in a Chicago mental hospital for five days:


In the trial of Derek Chauvin for the murder of George Floyd—a catalyst that sparked a new civil rights movement—the prosecution and the defense are focusing intently on Floyd’s substance abuse struggle.

On the fourth day of Chauvin’s trial, the prosecution introduced Courtney Ross as a witness to George Floyd’s character. Ross dated Floyd for over three years and describes him as, “... a caring partner, a devoted father and passionate about exercise — a guy who loved to ride his bike and play ball with the neighborhood children.”

She also described their addiction to opioids. Saying, “Our story, it’s a classic story of how many people get addicted to opioids...”


This is Capitalism

I like to think of myself as a Near Future author like Margaret Atwood or William Gibson, but I just scribbles nonsense. Back in 2004, I wrote my thesis on the rise of Populism, Autocracy, and an emerging president who fancied himself a tin pot dictator in the coming 15 years.

Instead, we got Trump. A buffoon who aspires to all of those things but can only seem to remember 5 words. And then calls a dementia test an IQ test.

The Stanford-Binet developers disgustedly flicked cigarette ash in tepid coffee and became numb. Stupidity became the law of the land. So, yeah, I might have got something right. Too bad it’s taking the destruction of all that’s good in the world to prove my thesis.

I want to go back to 2004. Even if it was W. Bush.


I’m obsessed with HBO’s Westworld. The show’s melding of philosophy and technology is something I’ve always followed and is always present in my writing. In fact, my first book dealt directly with the themes present in Westworld—a robot (or hologram in my story) programmed to be killed over and over, becoming sentient and exhibiting Free Will.

My book deals with an AI woman who is programmed to be killed. No matter what the user does, the program will run its course and the woman will be killed at the end. Except for one program that has a glitch and creates sexual desire. Self-destruction forming a new being. So, that's why I'm interested in all this.

Early last year, Reggie Ugwu wrote an extremely interesting article where he interviewed a Theoretical Physicist about the themes presented in Westworld and the tv show Devs. Both shows deal with Determinism and Free Will. I was absolutely absorbed by the article and it created a new obsession for me: researching philosophy on Determinism and Free Will.

You can read the article here: ‘Westworld’ and ‘Devs’ Asked Big Questions. A Physicist Responds.. Do it now. This instant. Don't read anymore of my drivel until you read what an expert thinks.


Enter your email to subscribe to updates.